Reflection (I stole this, but really was challenged by this!)

Lately, there have been a lot of things that have challenged me and have made me do a lot of reflecting. Reflecting on life, love, and everything in between. The two years or so have been unlike any other. They have been years of joys, of trials, of accomplishments, of pain, of self and spiritual revelation, and most importantly of thankfulness.

A few of the joys: Celebrating a 2 year anniversary. Adding a member to our family in Piper. Having my first "Real Job" followed closely by my 2nd "Real Job." Time with best friends and learning why I call them my best friends. Learning what the Bride of Christ looks and acts like. Answered prayers for family members going through hard times or uncertain situations. A relationship with my sister-in-law that I cherish and who teaches me a lot about who I am, even though she may not know this. Knowing deep in my bones that work is hard and rewarding at the same time when I hear a patient say "Thank you"!

A few of the trials: Going back to school to work on a degree I thought I never wanted to be in. Moving away from everyone and everything I have ever known. Being alone while Brian puts in hours and hours of work. Constantly feeling defeated and exhausted from work situations. Stressing about things in life that are completely out of my control and yet falling on my face before God because it's the safest place to be at that moment and knowing I have no where else to go. My husband's constant desire to do well in everything and still not feel appreciated by those around him. A team that doesn't always see eye to eye or get along.

A few of the accomplishments: Brian finishing grad school in the next few weeks. Having the ability to pay all our bills on time each month. Celebrating a year and 6 months at Dayspring. Overcoming/ understanding Electronic Medical Records. Fighting the fights patients don't care to and knowing (hoping) it's for the best. Getting my wisdom teeth removed. Running some of the best times and longest distances ever.

A few of the bouts of pain: Questioning God's plans for us and fearing His plans in the same breath. Seeing my sisters struggle with relationships and finances. Brian being in a car wreck. Feeling defeated in my efforts.

A few incidents of revelation: Understanding that the things I worry about are meaningless. God has and always will be here to support, love, and work miracles. Knowing that my goal in life is to see God known and glorified, and that should be my focus.

A few things to be thankful for: A godly husband who continues to challenge and serve me in spite of myself. A place to call home. A job. Health care. A mode of transportation. A supportive family. The Bible. Salvation. This list could go on for days!

UUUGGG!!!

Dear God,

Help Brian find peace in what he is supposed to do when he graduates (ie December). Help me to shut my mouth and just listen for now. Help him have discernment about what is best for our family. Continue to bless our endeavors to make YOU known and glorified, whatever that looks like!

Love,
Tiff